Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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