Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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