We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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