Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
