She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
