Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
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Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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