why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
