so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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