forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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