you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?