I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse