I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
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im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sobbing to NWA