I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated