My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.