the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
