If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
