"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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