My liver just broke up with me...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize