your parents love me but you hate me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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