pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
