Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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