I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend