your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He did a backflip because drugs
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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