Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
