i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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