At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
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first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.