How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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