Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
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Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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