He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
