Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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