We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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