We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
