Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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