every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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