We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize