I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize