Whod you bang
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk