i can't believe i had my finger in that
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.