Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.