what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.