Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize