theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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