she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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