She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
