you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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