It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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