trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
this will be a night to untag.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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