he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
