end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
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Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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