my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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