Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It was confusing and full of hummus
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize