oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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