I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Aww well Iβm kinda unsober so probably best
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