Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize