dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
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