dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
