Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
